Life-ing Too Hard


For probably the first time in weeks, I have been given the gift of some free time to write here and to paint there and to read a book that I’ve been trying to finish for weeks. In this free time, I’ll tell you a few small updates about where I’ve been and why on earth it’s taken me so long to jump back into the swing of writing.


For the last few weeks, I’ve been slammed with schoolwork (as usual) but particularly because my schedule, probably like yours, is like playing Tetris except somebody else is moving the shapes around and I have to make them fit together. Between working a few jobs, class work, and my sweet, sweet privilege of being a Young Life leader, I have been wearing a lot more hats recently to save time in the morning and wearing sweatshirts perhaps more than any human should. If college is my only solid 4 years to be a mess and it be socially acceptable, I’ll take what I can get.


Secondly, I got to see R for a total of 10 hours last weekend. I drove to Charleston for a day to see him shoot, but also just to see his face. It was a sweet 10 hours of hanging out at a gun range and doing homework and looking at pictures and having a brief moment of normalcy just like it used to be. Almost every time I’ve seen him up until this point, we’ve been in an unfamiliar city running around, going to a formal dance, or trying to find a balance of time between both families. So to have a day spent sitting around, just talking and picking on each other, was a rare few hours of normal that I’d almost forgotten were so good.


Finally, last night was the Young Life College hoedown. For those of you unfamiliar with a hoedown, it’s a square dance usually held in a barn or something like that. Flannels and overalls and boots are the uniform of choice. For the first time in my life, I knew every dance and laughed at my friends running around trying to remember how to promenade and trying to remember who was their corner maid. Shoutout to Trail West for giving me 4 weeks of learning those dances like the back of my hand. When I got home, I had s’mores remnants on my flannel and I smelled like bonfire smoke. It felt like I was camping except I was in my dorm bed and my roommate was snoring across the room. All I needed were cricket sounds.

If I’ve learned anything over the last few weeks, it’s that 1) Schoolwork is like ice cream; it fills all the empty space I thought I had to myself, which could be a good thing because otherwise I’d end up on Amazon ordering things just for kicks and giggles. 2) Normal moments with your best friend can be better than some crazy planned trip. 3) Even if I get behind on writing because I’m life-ing and laughing too hard, that’s fine with me.


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