As I’m reluctantly inching closer to the end of my Spring Break, I can’t help but feel like running in the other direction, back to the adventures and scenery of three days ago, and away from the responsibilities that have been awaiting my return. Over the last six days I’ve found myself in the Bahamas, Key West, and Savannah, Georgia, each a temporary destination, and each so completely different from the last. Travelling for such long periods of time is bound to produce some stories, so I figured I would share this one with you.
Before I get into the dirty details of this event, which you have to promise not to tell anybody, just keep in mind I promised to tell you my awkward and unbelievable life moments, no matter how embarrassing. So here goes. It was the first night of the cruise vacation I’d been anticipating for months. I was gonna finally get some tan-lines on my snow white skin and come back a golden goddess (just pretend like that was ever an option, even though I’m sure you and I both know it wasn’t.) I’d been on a few cruise ships before, so I knew what to expect and I’d never had a problem with seasickness. That night, however, I ruined by perfect record of seasickness immunity. My family and I were sitting at the formal dinner table we’d been assigned. We were all dressed up to fit dress code, our waitress was telling us her recommendations from the menu, and I could feel the color draining from my body, making me even whiter than my complexion already was. I knew I had very little time left before things got really messy, but unfortunately, I overestimated how much time I really had and ended up creating quite a commotion as I ran out of the restaurant and through the third deck of the ship. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say crowds of people were directed away from my path to the nearest restroom. I can only imagine how I looked as I made my best getaway attempt, but I’d really rather not think about it. I’m just as embarrassed to write this and remember each detail as you are grossed out to read it, but because I promised to share these unbearably human moments, I had to tell you. The only positive outcome is that I got to update my go-to answer for the “what is your most embarrassing moment?” question, but I don’t even think that counts as positive.
My week continued with stops in Nassau, where we walked through the streets making our best attempt to not look like tourists and failing miserably, Key West, Florida, where roosters chased us down the streets and we took shameless selfies at the most southern point of the U.S., and our final destination back in Miami. Although the days were full of interesting moments and experiences, it would take me forever to try to tell you about my whole week so I’ll save those stories for another day.
Obviously my week brought one of my worst moments, but also brought some of my best. This week taught me: 1) When at sea, always have your escape route mapped out just in case. 2) No matter how hard tourists try to look normal, they never will. And 3) Perfect family vacations are overrated.